The American Justice System

I have been troubled for some time about the amount of lawsuits that actually get an opportunity to be heard in court, much less win. For example, recently someone sued a company for doing something stupid with a product and incurring bodily injury as a result. There was a warning label printed either on the package or the product, but the plaintiff actually won his case because the warning label was not visible enough. I apologize for the lack of specifics, but my memory is vague and I don't think that I can remember enough pertinent details to have any success with a search engine. The point is that this person's ineptitude was rewarded.

An example that I can remember is from a few years ago and involved a woman spilling coffee on herself at McDonald's and suing for shit like medical bills, lost wages, pain and suffering, mental anguish, and the like. She won her case, received seven figures, and probably retired. Since then, McDonald's has printed large warning labels on its coffee cups to make sure that its customers know that the coffee at McDonald's is hot.

I have come to the conclusion that since this woman was able to get herself to McDonald's and had the money to buy a cup of coffee, she had enough intelligence or experience to know that hot things require cautious handling to minimize the chance of being burned. I know enough about coffee to know that it is an acquired taste and, as a result, this woman had coffee before and knew that coffee falls in the 'hot things' category. Thus, her injury was the effect of either an accident or her own carelessness. In both cases McDonald's should not have been held liable, but it was anyway. This would only happen in America.

I think that the American Justice System should not only allow its judges laugh plaintiffs of cases as bogus as these out of the courtroom, it should let them drop balloons and confetti from the ceiling. It should also take away the plaintiffs' right to vote in any election ever again, make them take some kind of ethical seminar, and force them to drive Chevy Vegas for the rest of their lives.